A Case for Re-Evaluation

   So all these wildfires have brought a lot of thought to my mind.....it has brought on a strong case of re-evaluation...not just of the little things.....but of the bigger picture of life.  I live on Dictionary Hill in the boondock-ish area known as Spring Valley (The hood....yay yay!  Ha ha).  I have lived here in this same house almost all my life.  This past week.....the Harris fire almost took that and so much more away from me.  The Harris fire raged all over the Otay area and such....slowly coming to Mt. San Miguel (which is basicly accross the street from my house).  The last time Mt. San Miguel was on fire was back in June of '85....and why do I remember this?  Its because it happened the day my baby brother was born.  I went to work at the office Monday morning fully aware that the fires were happening.  I listened to the radio at work as everything progressed. I then had to work at the bank that night.  I got there and called a couple people who I knew whose homes were in the danger zone....checked up on them...then called my parents just to say hi and see what was going on.  Talked to my Dad and he said they were evacuating.  Didn't believe him at first...so I took my celly into the station....and as I started to work....my brother called, then my Mom, then my Dad....so I called them back to find out the evacuation was real.  So I told my manager, closed my stuff, and booked the hell out for home.
     The freeway was empty as I sped home.  When I got into the neighborhood....it was kinda like a ghost town with a few neighbors here and there throwing some last few things into their cars and pulling out of their driveways with a quickness.  I got home and found my parents had already made my brother leave because of his asthma.  My parents were already fully packed....but weren't leaving.  They were refusing to leave because of the dogs. We have a 15 year old....and it would be so hard to transfer her around.  Plus we have the other two dogs.  All of our dogs are large in size.  If we didn't have dogs...my parents would have left.....but because of the difficulty in transporting them....they decided to wait it out at home until we were positive we really had to leave.  So we hosed the house and yard down as much as we could......and watched the activity of the fire from our balcony.  I also packed.  Interesting the things that you pack when it comes down to it.  I think it really says a lot about a person the things you pack when you are pushed with the notion that you are about to lose it all.  The first thing I packed was my laptop (apparently the first thing everyone in my family packed).  The second thing was my camera.  Third, important documents.  Fourth, some extra clothes. Fifth, 2 pillows and a blanket.  Sixth, a book to read.  Seventh, my Game Boy DS and Game Boy Micro (because if I ended up at an evacuation center, I was going to need something to keep my mind busy).  Last, I packed up some food.  And that was all I packed.  I considered packing my Wii, DVDs (all 300 something of them), DVD player, and TV....but realized that I didn't want to be THAT person....yenno....the materialistic one that takes that kinda stuff.  I thought about all my clothes and all the money I spent on them....but still refused to pack them.  At that time..I realized...the most important things to me were already packed....it was my family.  Nothing else really mattered to me as long as they were ok....I could lose it all and be fine....but not them.  In retrospect, I probably should have packed some old photos of my family and the jewelry from my grandmother....but at the time....I really didn't think about it.
     I realized one thing out of this whole ordeal.  In life...we own nothing.  Nothing truly belongs to us. We can have all these things and in the blink of an eye, God can take it all away.  He can even take our life.  Nothing is truly ours to keep.  So in life...we should just do what we can with what we have.....and be happy with that.  Its good to always strive for more...but to always want more and more on the verge of greed and gluttony?  No.  God can take it all away.
     I watched the fire light up the background of Mt. San Miguel that night....then die down. When I thought the worst had passed and that we were clear...I left to go to a friend's to give my lungs a break.  All the ash in the air....I didn't want my bronchitis to act up.  I fell asleep at my friend's for about an hour.  Then around 3 in the morning I get a picture text from Kevin.  It was a picture of the fire coming over Mt. San Miguel.  The picture almost made me cry and I quickly turned on the news.  I sat up and prayed.  At first the only thing I could spit out was "Oh my God, Oh my God,  Oh my God."  repeatedly.  The sight was horrorfying.  The mountain I had gotten so accustomed to glancing upon leisurely and in a relaxing manner was now lit up like lava coming down a volcano.   I was glued to the television....wanting to badly to drive straight home to protect what was mine and fight for it....until they said that the 94 and Jamacha had been closed off.  So I watched anxiously the events that followed and when I thought the roads would be open, I quickly went back home.  I met up with Tony and picked him up.,  We went over to the fire site....as close as we could get....and watched as the helicopters extinguished the fire and saved our homes.  I took some crazy pictures that morning.  Kevin ended up driving by later and saw us....so he pulled over, parked, and joined us.  Atter, we got some of our high school crew together and went out to eat in celebration. Because almost nothing was open, we ended up at Hooters...one of the few places that was open. 
      Those helicopters and the people in them are my heroes.  God forever bless them.  The came about 1 to 1/2 miles to my house,  All it had to do was come up to Jamacha Boulevard and jump it.  From there....Dictionary Hill would have lit up like a Christmas Tree.  In my mind, I remembered images of the Cedar fire jumping the 15....and I imagined the Harris fire jumping Jamacha and placing a Domino effect into motion as it lights up the Eucalyptus trees of Stone Point and rushed its way the top of our hill....taking my home into the mouth of madness.  When something like this happens....and you are at the mercy of mother nature...all you can do is have Faith and pray.  But mother nature didn't take my home.  Thank God for that.
     Thanks to all my friends who called, texted, and e-mailed checking to see how I was doing and if me and my family was ok.  It was all greatly appreciated.  And for those who offered me help in whatever ways you could.....thank you very much for that.  Thank you all for your wishes, prayers, and offers.  You guys are all the best!
    Just because my home is now in the clear doesn't change the fact that people's homes are still being threatened all around San Diego and that many people have already lost their homes.  My hear truly goes out to them.  And even though I now have a sense of relief that my house is now in the clear, I can't help but bear guilty feelings of relief while so many still suffer.  I pray for those whose troubles have not yet passed and I pray even harder for those who disaster has already struck.
    One thing I found unbvelievable was the inhumaness of those who were looting the homes of those who had to evacuate.  If i knew who you were...I would loot your home and then set it on fire.  See how you like that you tools!  In the end...you will get yours.  Believe it. Karma comes around 10 times harder the second round.
     It is funny how things can change so quickly.  The last time I wrote, I wrote about how I was going to LA.  The LA trip was cool.  Everything didn't work out as planned, but I had fun none-the-less.  Me, Steph, and Jay went up to Amala's and kicked it at her new place on Wilshire for the day.  The place is like a Vegas Hotel.  Fountains and waterfalls everywhere.  A business room, a library, a spa, a sauna, a tanning bed, a masseuse, a gym, a yoga instructor, a pool, a jacuzzi, and a bonfire pit.  I'm telling you....Vegas Hotel.  Heh.  That night we went and had dinner at Ketchup (one place I've seen on the Food Network).  It was pretty good...but we got our food so late (due to issues with having such a large party and waiting for everyone) that I could barely eat. After, we hit up Cabana, but due to some misfortunes with the security, we left.  We ended up at Vanguard for a whiles...then me, Steph, and Jay left early and went back to Amala's (without her....hey...it was her birthday....she deserves to be out and we were sooo tired by then) and hit the sack.
     Sunday rolled around and we all slept in....and I mean really slept in.  Then me, Steph, and Amala went over to Target to buy some stuff to decorate her place.  On our way back, we picked up some Cuban food at Versailles (yet another place I've seen on Food Network).  We got back and ate.  I had the lamb....it was great! Then we got to decorating the place.  After, we relaxed and watched I Love New York while we waited for traffic to die down.  Then around 6 we headed home.  Driving through LA....we saw the fires there.  Driving down into Irvine we saw the fires there too.  The Irvine fires prompted me to text Drew and Owen (my Irvine buddies)....but turned out they were down in San Diego.  I told them about the fires and not to head back.  They told me about the fires in San Diego in return.  That was when I learned that San Diego was on fire.  Little did I know at that time just how bad things were.
     Being in LA was very clarifying.  It was good being somewhere else and away from everything in San Diego.  But being there was very reminiscent of a life I once knew.  It was like trying to be re-accustomed to my old life.  I used to live in Irvine....and we used to go to LA all the time to party and such.....frat parties.....dorm parties.....house parties....drink ups.....clubs...raves...whatevers.  I saw places I used to go to.....and places we used to just pass by.  Being at Vanguard brought back memories of my raving days....watching all those e-tards, the lasers, and the light shows.  That was once a life  once knew a long time ago.  One I was glad to have experienced....but would never go back to.  It was fascinating to watch it all go on from the second level of Vanguard......watching this huge crowd like an announcer watching a sports event.  Yep....being in LA is like being re-aquainted with my old life.  Interesting though.
     Well...I'm terribly exhausted right now...so I'm gonna go relax.  I think I'm all caught up to par until now.  So maybe I'll write more tommorrows.  Definitely looking forwards to Vegas this weekend.....because after the past scare from the fires...I need the getaway!  So....bye for now!
*Muahz!* 

Comments

[Eugene]

wow. that was inspiring. i've seen the fires on cnn, fox, and all the news networks. i've also read about them in the papers. but reading your first hand account of what happened really hit home. if you're wondering who i am, don't mind me. i'm just some dude browsing through the friendster pages. i'm glad you and everyone important to you are alright.

[Rose]

You're a responsible and mature young lady. I thought for a while you're only thoughts are clubbin or havin fun but as I read through your blogs a real person surfaced..Am engrossed how you realistically described your ordeal and almost brought me to tears.. You've got the best christmas gift ever..take care always...

[bapang]

why do you have to post in a 2 piece bikini while you express your experienced about wildfire? your a woman who needs lots of loving and attention, see a therapist!

[Den]

I have also watched closely what was happening then in southern cali. we were never threathend by the ravage because we live in central LA but the horrible news kept plugging on tv. I have also written 3 entries regarding the fires that started in malibu area. To this day im still shocked how huge the damage brought to those whose houses burnt down to ashes. But it was true the experience could tell us a lot of things. Things we could learn.

[Damien]

Your pictures remind me of my ex... She wasn't too kind to animals.

[darwin]

Cool blog (",)